If This Bookworm Has Offended

If This Bookworm Has Offended

Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there - Owl City || I review all sorts of things, books, movies, mini-series, adaptions. I also fan cast.

Review
4 Stars
Review: The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket
The Austere Academy - Michael Kupperman, Lemony Snicket, Brett Helquist

Title: The Austere Academy
Author: Lemony Snicket
Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events, 5
Format: ebook
Length: 288 pages (iPhone)
Rating: 4 stars

 

Synopsis: Dear Reader,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.

Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket 

 

Favourite character: Klaus and the Quagmires
Least favourite character: Carmelita, Vice Principle Nero and Olaf

 

Mini-review: Like Mr. Poe, I wanted to wear a school uniform. Luckily when my wish came true it didn't come in the form of boarding school. If I had to go to a boarding school like Prufatory Prep, I'd be a drop out.

Count Olaf strikes again, this time in the form of a gym teacher, which is very fitting if you're a bookworm. 

Review
3 Stars
Review: Mandie and the Cherokee Legend by Lois Gladys Leppard
Mandie and the Cherokee Legend (Mandie, Book 2) - Lois Leppard

Title: Mandie and the Cherokee Legend
Author: Lois Gladys Leppard
Series: Mandie, 2
Format: ebook, bind-up
Length: N/A
Rating: 3 stars

 

Synopsis: A mysterious legend among the Cherokee people tells of some long-lost gold, hidden for centuries. Would it truly bring a curse upon the one who found it?

 

Favourite character: Dimar, Sallie & Uncle Ned
Least favourite character: Tsa'ni

 

Mini-review: Cute book. Mandie isn't whiny yet. I like how they sowed that some of the Indians have some hostility towards the whites, who you know, pillaged the land, murder and raped them. But, that, of course, is never mentioned as this is for 10 year olds.

I thought that the way they showed Uncle Ned's slight superstition towards the gold was good. 

 

Fan Cast*:

Amanda "Mandie" Shaw - Emma Rayne Lyle

Uncle Ned Sweetwater - Zahn McClarnon

Elizabeth Taft - Malin Akerman

Uncle John Shaw - Jeffery Dean Morgan

Joe Woodard - Louis Hynes

Morning Star Sweetwater - Irene Bedard

 

*because of the lack of young Native American actors in Hollywood I will not be fan casting those roles.

Review
3 Stars
Review: Power Play by Francine Pascal, Kate William
Power Play (Sweet Valley High #4) - Francine Pascal

Title: Power Play
Author: Francine Pascal, Kate William
Series: Sweet Valley High, 4
Format: ebook, bind-up
Length: N/A
Rating: 3 stars

 

Synopsis: Elizabeth and Jessica in a tug of war...

Chubby Robin Wilson has been following Jessica around for months. First she wanted to be her friend -- now she wants to join Pi Beta Alpha, Sweet Valley High's snobby sorority.

When Elizabeth, Jessica's twin, nominates Robin for the sorority, Jessica is furious. Robin may be friendly and smart, but she's certainly not beautiful or popular enough to be a Pi Beta. Jessica's determined to find a way to keep Robin out.

But Elizabeth is just as determined to make Robin a sorority sister. Soon the twins are locked in a struggle that develops into the biggest power play at Sweet Valley High...

 

Favourite character: Robin
Least favourite character: Jessica

 

Mini-review: This book is very fat-shaming. Robin, a new SVH character, is overweight and everyone makes fun of her. She is blackballed from being in the sorority, because apparently 80s California high schools have sororities... and she decides enough is enough and loses tons of weight. Then the toad turns into a princess apparently and is being worshiped by all the guys, including Bruce Patman who humiliated her earlier in the book in front of the entire school.

Yuck.

 

Fan Cast:

Elizabeth Wakefield/Jessica Wakefield - Lili Reinhart

Robin Wilson - Ariel Winter

Lila Fowler - Zendaya

Bruce Patman - Gregg Sulkin

Allen Walters - Nicholas Braun

Cara Walker - Sofia Carson

George Fowler - Patrick Warburton

Todd Wilkins - Blake Michael

Mr. Collins - Lee Pace

Enid Rollins - Joey King

Winston Egbert - Joey Bragg

Mr. Cooper - JK Simmons

Review
3 Stars
Review: Hunting The Hunter by Gordon Korman
Hunting the Hunter - Gordon Korman

Title: Hunting the Hunter
Author: Gordon Korman
Series: On The Run, 6
Format: ebook
Length: N/A
Rating: 3 stars

 

Synopsis: Aiden and Meg Falconer have been all across country, looking for the man who framed their parents and sent them off to life in prison. Now they've found him -- and need to trap him before he gets away again. But it isn't going to be easy. Hairless Joe is a professional killer ... and he's not about to let two kids stand in the way of his freedom. It's the ultimate showdown -- and only one side can win. 

 

Favourite character: Meg
Least favourite character: Frank Lindenauer

 

Mini-review: A good conclusion to the series, tying everything together nicely.... Until the next series, that is...

 

Fan Cast:

Aiden Falconer - Cameron Boyce

Meg Falconer - Storm Reid

Emmanuel Harris - Lee Pace

Hairless Joe/Frank Lindenauer - Corey Stoll

Agent Lucy Batista - Melissa Fumero

Jeffery Adler - Elijah Wood

Miguel Reyes - Aramis Knight

John Falconer - Ryan Reynolds

Louise Falconer - Tiffany Haddish

Internet Update

Still no internet.

 

After saying they'd come either Wednesday or Friday, they called and said it wouldn't be until Saturday.

 

Come Saturday (today) that the dude shows up, checks for two minutes and says its the modem. 

 

So we called and the company said that they don't ship until Monday and that it'll take 3 to 4 business days for it to arrive.

 

So I won't have internet until about Thursday or Friday.

Internet

So my internet is down and it won't be fixed until Wednesday at the earliest and Friday at the latest.

 

So I won't be posting until it's back up and running, as I'm currently using my phone's hotspot to post this.

Editing Goodreads

Okay so I realized today while I was trying (and failing majorly) to get into a Love Inspired Suspense that I actually hate Love Inspired books. 

 

So I'm going to mass edit my Goodreads. And all of my non LI books I'll be adding to Booklikes.

 

So excuse any spam.

 

Also I'll do a different comparison when I'm done.

Review
3 Stars
Review: Playing With Fire by Francine Pascal, Kate William
Playing With Fire (Sweet Valley High #3) - Francine Pascal

Title: Playing With Fire
Author: Francine Pascal, Kate William
Series: Sweet Valley High, 3
Format: ebook, bind-up
Length: N/A
Rating: 3 stars

 

Synopsis: Too hot to handle...

Watch out, Sweet Valley High! Once again, Jessica Wakefield has gotten her way. Fresh from her greatest social triumph, Jessica proceeds to sink her hooks into rich, handsome Bruce Patman, the most eligible, sought-after guy at SVH.

Or has Bruce gotten his hooks into Jessica? Elizabeth, Jessica's twin, notices a big change in her sister. Suddenly Jessica's following Bruce everywhere and dropping everything just to spend time with him.

Elizabeth doesn't trust Bruce one bit -- he's arrogant, demanding, and way too fast. Jessica can usually hold her own with any guy, but this time Elizabeth's afraid her sister may be going to far....

 

Favourite character: Todd
Least favourite character: Jessica & Bruce

 

Mini-review: Well, this was interesting. Jessica manipulates situations and ends up the girlfriend of Sweet Valley's richest eligible high school bachelor. You know, as terrible as Bruce is in this book, I kind of like him in the later books because he actually stays consistent (aka constantly terrible). But in this, he's horrendous. 

Also, this lime green cover is blinding.

 

Fan Cast:

Elizabeth Wakefield/Jessica Wakefield - Lili Reinhart

Bruce Patman - Gregg Sulkin

Robin Wilson - Ariel Winter

Todd Wilkins - Blake Michael

Winston Egbert - Joey Bragg

Emily Mayer - Lulu Antariksa

Dana Larson - Dove Cameron

Max Dellon - Ross Lynch

Guy Chesney - Cameron Boyce

Dan Scott - Dylan Minnette

Ken Matthews - Brandon Larracuente

Lila Fowler - Zendaya

Cara Walker - Sofia Carson

Penny Ayala - Anya Taylor-Joy

John Pfeifer - Luke Benward

Tom McKay - Dylan Everett

Mr. Collins - Lee Pace

Mr. Russo - Ralph Macchio

Alice Wakefield - Laura Dern

Ned Wakefield - Robert Downey Jr.

Reading progress update: I've read 15%.
Playing With Fire (Sweet Valley High #3) - Francine Pascal

The continuity in this series is terrible...

Reading progress update: I've read 1%.
Playing With Fire (Sweet Valley High #3) - Francine Pascal

So I realized I wouldn't have time to read the Austere Academy and then watch the two episodes, so I'm rereading SVH instead.

 

Welcome to today's book.

Review
3 Stars
Review: Princess in Love by Meg Cabot
Princess In Love - Meg Cabot

Title: Princess in Love
Author: Meg Cabot
Series: The Princess Diaries, 3
Format: ebook
Length: N/A
Rating: 3 stars

 

Synopsis: Princess Mia may seem like the luckiest girl ever. But the truth is, she spends all her time doing one of three things: preparing for her nerve-racking entree into Genovian society, slogging through the congestion unique to Manhattan in December, and avoiding further smooches from her hapless boyfriend, Kenny. For Mia, being a princess in love is not the fairy tale it's supposed to be...or is it?

 

Favourite character: Mia
Least favourite character: Lilly

 

Mini-review: This was so cheesy, yet hilarious. I liked it a lot better on my reread. I think I took it too seriously or something when I read it like a year or two ago. I'm learning that.

I really struggle with Lilly because I've had so many control-freak friends that I just want to scream at Mia to ditch her.

Other than that, it was good.

 

Fan Cast:

Mia Thermopolis - Hailee Steinfeld

Michael Moscovitz - Cole Sprouse

Kenny Showalter - Kodi Smit-McPhee

Lilly Moscovitz - Allisyn Ashley Arm

Frank Gianini - Bobby Cannavale

Helen Thermopolis - Evangeline Lilly

Tina Hakim-Baba - Liza Koshy

Grandmère - Cher

Philippe Renaldo - Steven Robertson

Judith Gershner - Ajiona Alexus

Boris Pelkowski - Craig Roberts

Lars van der Hooten - Armie Hammer

Lana Weinberger - Olivia Holt

Justin Baxendale - Noah Centineo

Josh Ritcher - Riker Lynch

Shameeka Taylor - Amandla Stenberg

Ling Su Wong - Fivel Stewart

Reading progress update: I've read 63%.
Princess In Love - Meg Cabot

Going to try and read this as fast I can so I can read the Austere Academy and then watch the ASOUE episode.

Review
3 Stars
Review: Secrets by Francine Pascal, Kate William
Secrets (Sweet Valley High #2) - Francine Pascal

Title: Secrets
Author: Francine Pascal, Kate William
Series: Sweet Valley High, 2
Format: ebook, bind-up
Length: N/A
Rating: 3 stars

 

Synopsis: Jessica would stop at nothing…

Gorgeous but ruthless, Jessica Wakefield is determined to be the chosen queen of Sweet Valley High’s fall dance this year. Once she’s crowned queen, surely Bruce Patman, the most popular boy in school, will finally notice her. And the only person standing in her way is Enid Rollins, Elizabeth’s best friend.

But when Jessica uncovers a secret about Enid’s past, she knows the crown is within reach. She doesn’t care that revealing the secret could cost Enid both her reputation and boy she loves.

Can Elizabeth save Enid from Jessica’s vicious gossip? Can she stop her scheming twin in time?

 

Favourite character: N/A
Least favourite character: Jessica Wakefield

 

Mini-review: Two things. First: the title should've been Rumours, not Secrets; Second: the synopsis is nothing like the book. Elizabeth doesn't find out that Jessica's the one who ruined Enid's life until the second last chapter or something. Good grief.

Also if there were rumours floating around school that a teacher was sleeping with a 16-year old student, she'd probably be put under suspension and supervision. But then I wasn't even born when this book came out, so times have changed. But still, these books are so dumb.

 

Fan Cast:

Elizabeth Wakefield/Jessica Wakefield - Lili Reinhart

Enid Rollins - Cailee Spaeny

Todd Wilkins - Blake Michael

Ronnie Edwards - Lucas Hedges

Ms. Nora Dalton - Scarlett Johansson

Mr. Roger Collins - Lee Pace

Bruce Patman - Gregg Sulkin

Cara Walker - Sofia Carson

Winston Egbert - Joey Bragg

Ken Matthews - Brandon Larracuente

Lila Fowler - Zendaya

Alice Wakefield - Laura Dern

George Warren - Jordan Rodrigues

Dana Larson - Dove Cameron

Caroline Pearce - Shannon Purser

Olivia Davidson - Liza Koshy

Lois Waller - Maddie Baillio

Guy Chesney - Cameron Boyce

Emily Mayer - Lulu Antariksa

Reading progress update: I've read 2%.
Secrets (Sweet Valley High #2) - Francine Pascal

THEY JUST HAD A DANCE. AND THEY'RE GOING TO ANOTHER ONE??? 

 

My high school had three dances a year: Halloween, semi-formal and prom. And prom was senior exclusive.

Reading progress update: I've read 1%.
Secrets (Sweet Valley High #2) - Francine Pascal

Welcome to our SVH book of the day.

!!! spoiler alert !!!
Movie Review: Jane Eyre

 

Title: Jane Eyre
Release Date: April 22, 2011
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender, Judi Dench, Jamie Bell
Length: 2h
Rating: PG-13

 

Favourite character:
 N/A

Crush: St. John Rivers (Jamie Bell duh)
Least favourite character: Rochester
Favourite line: "Am I a machine without feelings? Do you think that because I am poor, plain, obscure and have little that I am souless and heartless? I have as much a soul as you and full as much heart."

 

Mini-Review: Boy, am I in the minority here. Okay, so except the plot twist of his insane wife being cooped up in a secret room, who tries to murder everyone and commit suicide, I don't honestly see why people like this. My mom is obsessed with the Brontës, particularly Charlotte and particularly Jane Eyre. And I just don't see it... At all. Maybe I need to read the book or something, but of the movie version, I wasn't a fan. I enjoyed the last 20 minutes better because they were mostly Jamie Bell, who is my celeb crush. But the first 1 hour and 40 minutes I was confused, bored and incredulous. I don't see why people worship this story.